Unlocking Joy with Jamir Smith

Speaker 0 00:00:01 Ever since you can remember, you felt something in your chest telling you to move, to love, to speak, to try day after day. You pretend you don't hear calling. Maybe you dismiss it as silliness or worse that it's there ready for you, and it will wait for you. And as long as you, my name is Johnny G and I invite you to join me on a journey of awakening as we dare to embrace our light. This is refractive. Speaker 1 00:00:47 Hello everyone. And welcome to another episode of refractive podcast today. I am so happy to introduce you to a dear friend of mine named Jamir Smith. And just a bit of his background. Jamir was born and raised in Durham, North Carolina, and as an only child, he learned the value of stepping into creativity at an early age. He worked in the luxury fashion and design industry for over 15 years and built some pretty strong relationships along the way. He's currently a podcast host. You can find the Jamir Smith show podcast on your favorite platform. And it provides an outlook on lifestyle, fashion interviews with entrepreneurs and tastemakers and other people who are leaving their footprints on this world. He has had some really great interviews on his podcast. I highly recommend it to you. It's positive, uplifting, easy to absorb material. Um, one of his most memorable interviews was with a relative of James Baldwin and digging deep into the experience of knowing such an important playwright, uh, on a deeper level. So Jamir, welcome to refractive. I'm so happy that you're with us today, Speaker 2 00:02:00 Johnny, I am so excited to be a part of your platform. One, because you know, you touched on a couple of things earlier about having a show that is a lifestyle brand, and that's how I look at you and you are, and you can encompass what lifestyle brands mean. And I think, you know, when I interviewed you last week or the week before a lot of listeners, and I didn't want to tell you until we started recording said they enjoyed you so much because you provided an honest and real conversation. And so thank you for allowing me to be a part of your, your attire, beautiful platform. Speaker 1 00:02:38 Oh, absolutely. Listen. I, I, you know, I may not have the, uh, the most famous contacts in my address book. Um, but I'm very picky on who comes on my podcast and I protect what I see as the integrity of our mission here on refractive. And that's to help people step into their own authentic power and live their best lives. Um, so many of us and I include myself in that have been held back by our own illusions of, um, of should, you know, and I just don't subscribe to that anymore. And I believe that my mission is to shine as best I can so that other people can also want to shine. And that's why I bring people like you on my podcast. I'm glad that you're here and our topic today. Um, it felt like a really natural fit immediately when you and I agreed to, uh, partner on podcasts. I knew that I wanted to focus on joy and that's because at the root of our relationship back a million years ago, when we first got into the, to each other's orbits, there was so much laughter around the moments we spent together. And it just, I just felt that connection of lightheartedness with you. And, uh, I don't know. I think that we live in a world that a lot of people see is very heavy today and it's time to bring some lightheartedness in there. Speaker 2 00:04:12 You know, when I think about our relationship and really the bond that we have really built, I think that, you know, I would retreat sometimes to see your office just because I needed to get away and to just talk and to just laugh and talk about the craziness of the world. But I think what our relationship was built on is laughter enjoy, but also really looking through anything that was going on and trying to find the positivity of it. And that's exactly what you have always been. And it's such a beautiful light to see this is who you are continuously becoming. So absolutely Speaker 1 00:04:50 Thank you, Jamir. So we're going to focus today on unlocking joy. And I was really specific in picking the wording for this, um, unlocking because my, my personal belief system says that joy and happiness, and even though there are subtle differences between the definitions of those two words, I'm going to use them interchangeably today for simplicity. But, um, you know, my philosophy says that there is an unlimited storehouse of joy and happiness available to all of us and it lives in the present moment. It lives in finding acceptance of the present moment and letting go of the need for the future to be one way and the past to be another way. And so the way to, uh, and this is the focus of the word unlocking joy, because I believe we all have access to it, but we closed the door ourselves. We keep ourselves out of a state of joy and happiness through various things. And I think it's not that complicated to step back through. And that's what I wanted the focus of today's episode to be. I am excited. Speaker 2 00:05:58 I'm excited. Absolutely. Speaker 1 00:06:01 Let's, let's get honest for a few minutes. And, uh, how happy would you say you are today? Speaker 2 00:06:12 You know, when you discuss this question with me and some of the other few questions I thought about, let's just say present day and I'll talk about just me specifically, you know, I was affected by this entire pandemic and I believe I had to start removing myself from the idea of selfishness and saying, Oh my gosh, why me? It was one of those things that I had to look at. It is everyone and everyone is being affected by this entire pandemic that we're living through right now. But throughout the entire interim, I had to find what is my happiness, what is my passion? And I never think that anyone will ever be a hundred percent happy. But what I do believe is that when I look at myself and I look at the platform that I've been able to build in the conundrum that we're living in, I am about 65, 70% happy. Speaker 2 00:07:08 And that's big because that's literally one over half, but then two, I think about all of the blessings that I've had. And when I say blessings, the contributions and support from my family throughout this entire pandemic, I could not have been able to move forward and, and understand what happiness looked and felt like without my family supporting me, looking at the financials of things and also maturing me throughout the process, because this was the time that I needed to look at myself and say, I need to do something different, but also how do I stay focused in the process? So I'm, I'm extremely is not the word, but I'm buried. Speaker 1 00:07:47 Yeah. Yeah. I had this really formative experience a few years back where in the course of about a week, four people asked me some variation of the question of how happy are you. And I believe that my higher power, my definition of God, talks to me in this way, that when I hear the same message coming at me over and over again, I need to perk up and listen to what's happening. The fact of the matter is that as each of these people asked me how happy I was in life. You know, my answers were pretty low and people were surprised when I gave those answers. Um, one person even said, Oh my gosh, that's so sad. It's like, you're Speaker 2 00:08:45 Human. Speaker 1 00:08:48 It's like, okay. All right, sir, judge a lot. But it was, uh, it was a wake-up call to me because I had not realized that there was room for more happiness. It's kind of like when, uh, you stop smelling the fact that you need a bath, you know what I mean? It's like I was in the muck for so long that I didn't even know I needed a bath. That's how it was. And when these four people in a row, um, brought to my attention that I wasn't meeting my expectations for happiness, it wasn't about the world. It's like they, they helped me to remove the blinders to see that I wasn't okay with my level of happiness. And it created this path of searching for me. How do I live a life that feels good and feels right. And lighthearted and joyful. And this was a big part of my decision to leave human resources. It was, I, when I sat down and realized, I knew that I was working 10 or 11 hours a day doing something that was fine. Yeah. But it didn't make me feel light an area. And so today, now that I've redesigned my life, um, over the past several years, this is not an overnight thing, but as I've redesigned my life, my happiness flows up and down a scale. Speaker 2 00:10:21 I'm sorry, I have to write this down because you just hit something that was beautiful. Redesigned your last that's right. Big Johnny, right? Speaker 1 00:10:31 You are the architect, you know, we saw the matrix, you know, so with this, uh, like you said, I'm not a hundred percent happy all the time. I don't walk around in a state of perpetual bliss, but what is true is that there is a door that I have the capacity to walk through to joy whenever I feel like it. And I count on these life experiences that I enjoy, like walking through the woods, or like watching a favorite show or like doing something creative. I took up sewing as a creative, fun hobby recently just to see what it would be like. Um, I enjoy writing and doing this stuff, editing podcasts and all of that. So by stepping through the door, into these various avenues, I raise my vibration to a state of happiness. And when eventually I stepped back, um, it settled down a little bit, but that's the flow of my life now. Speaker 2 00:11:38 I think that's amazing. Cause you know, I thought about, you know, as we were discussing the questions I knew and believed that happiness really begins with gratitude and understanding and looking for things that were just for me, extremely specific. And so I, that I wanted to, as you said earlier, go to the museums and enjoy a beautiful exhibit or plan a trip. You know, even if I knew that I wasn't going on a trip for me, those are self-fulfilling things that make me happy, you know, reorganizing my closet and updating, you know, furniture in my home. Like those are the things that I find happy, even though a few of those, those things are material. Those are some things that actually still make you happy. So Speaker 1 00:12:23 Yeah, for sure. So one of the things that I was thinking about is how kids seem to have this ability to step into happiness very easily. And it seems like many adults face more obstacles to stepping through that door of happiness. So I'd love to hear your perspective on this. Why do you think kids find joy so quickly and why do you think adults struggle? Speaker 2 00:12:53 You know, I thought about this question and I actually took some notes on this one because I thought this is a really amazing topic to talk about because I don't think sometimes we look at our inner self and say, what, what in, how would I have felt as a child? And a couple of the things were one children don't care, what other people think of them. So children are just free and they can sing in public and dance and act as crazy as they want and not care who or what is looking at them. But also I think about again, I'm a Pisces, so I'm a dreamer and all of these things. But I think about it as a child, children get to let their mind wonder, you know, they get to get in, put themselves and present themselves in a place where they could just have fun and just letting their imaginations just run wild. Speaker 2 00:13:47 And in addition to that, it's like adults can do the same, but it's like, I feel like we have to be so particular with certain things. And I also remember it, I was around a coworker of mine. Mine's daughter, children can say whatever they mean and it's okay. And for, for, for adults, we have to somewhat tailor. Besides some people have to tailor what we say to certain people because we don't want to hurt others feelings. But I feel like it's sometimes children, you know, you can tell if, if children are being very honest with you because they just kind of open up and say whatever they want. But I think also, you know, I thought about relationships, kids don't hold grudges at all. You know, when you think about adults, we have chips on our shoulders. And we think about, you know, I can't believe that this person did this to me. And how do I get over that kids? You give them a piece of candy or some cake and I promise you they've moved on. You know? So I think in that moment we hope that children just don't hold those grudges. But yeah, that's what I really thought about. You know, kids are just in a different way or way and where of life that they could just be. Speaker 1 00:14:57 Yes. Yes. I really appreciate, uh, a lot of what you just said regarding the kids. And, you know, I see all of those factors as being a part of the lash of society because as we grow up the older, we get, the more we get whipped by society to walk down a certain path that is seen as appropriate, correct. And the more we have to navigate a path that is not native to us, the less connection we have to our authentic reaction to the moment. Very true, very true, absolutely lives in our authentic reaction to the moment. And when we are tempering that, to make sure that we react in a way that is seen as appropriate, we take away that spontaneous falling into joy. That's that's my perspective on that. Speaker 2 00:16:09 No, absolutely. Because I think, you know, with, with us as adults, I think sometimes people are, are scared of, you know, seeking out new experiences. And I think when you think about a child, you know, they're often just eager to try new things, to play new games teams. And when you think about adults, you know, were sometimes stuck in this box of security. And I think being able, just to be live and just develop, you know, the idea of spontaneity is something that we just have to acquire as adults the same way we did it. Speaker 1 00:16:46 Yes. You know, um, let's say you go to a wedding where there's a lot of families and kids and whatnot, and a really fun song comes on. All the kids run to the dance floor, act a fool, they look ridiculous and they are living their best life, Speaker 2 00:17:07 Their entire business lives. Absolutely. Speaker 1 00:17:10 And how many adults are sitting at those round tables, watching the kids, wishing that they could go out on the floor and dance too, but they don't want to look stupid. Right? So there's the discard, there's the disconnect, you know, are you willing to jump into the arms of the moment and enjoy it for what it is or do you need to recalculate and negotiate what's happening, uh, to give yourself more perceived safety? You know, Speaker 2 00:17:42 I think people just have to get to a point in life. You just have to live, you have to enjoy your spaces. You have to live in your spaces, but enjoy those moments that you are living. Because if last year in the years that are to come, have not taught us anything is that life is short. So you have got to continue to enjoy these moments to the best of your capability and just do what you can do to make yourself happy. Not anyone else yourself. So yeah, absolutely. Speaker 3 00:18:13 What brings you joy? Jamir? My family. Yeah. Speaker 2 00:18:24 I've always said my family because they are the backbone, the footprint, the, you know, I talk about how my parents showed me what love looks like in adversity, in, in would being married forever. What that sounds like, because the reality is sometimes people don't understand the forever. So I saw what hard work looks like with that feels like, you know, um, what you touched on earlier, I'm a creative. So I love reading. Reading allows me to remove myself to a place that I can then encompass my, my eyes, my spirit, my soul, into the words of the book. Um, my relationships with my friends, they've always made me happy because we've been able to curse and argue and love on each other. But the biggest part is support each other. Speaker 3 00:19:37 And Speaker 2 00:19:38 As you know, fashion fashion, it makes me happy. You know, currently in Paris, everyone knows that the men's fashion week is going on through the 24th, Speaker 3 00:19:51 Be specific, Speaker 2 00:19:52 But you know, I have set my, my alarm clocks and all of my, you know, uh, alerts to each and every show that I know that I'm able to tune into on social media. Cause now everything is completely digital. And again, shout out to Billy Baton and Dior this morning, phenomenal show. So those are the things that definitely make me happy. Speaker 3 00:20:16 Why do you connect so deeply with fashion? Why does it make you feel the way it does? Speaker 2 00:20:22 I'm looking at the creativity of the designers. You know, I have, um, like a lot of people, a passion to watching documentaries and understanding where designers come from and learning their story with them, understanding what their collections consist of and why I love fashion so much is that it's in it's alarming. How many designers have now tapped into the African-American and Asian communities to see their collections really blow up, but I feel that's what they've done in the past. They just have never acknowledged it. So it's a beautiful thing to see people like Virgil Abloh or, you know, Olivier Rosting with Baumol, um, you know, and other designers be a part of these creative visions. And I look at them as creative pieces. And what I love is designer in high, low is exactly what I believe in. So yeah, that's why I love fashion and will continue to love fashion. It's always at the tip of my tongue. Speaker 1 00:21:32 One of my favorite things is to look at a piece of created material and it could be a beautiful dress. It could be the facade of a lovely home that I walked past down the street, a garden. Um, and I have found it so satisfying to tap into what I believe the person was experiencing, came up with the concepts. So as I look at houses, you know, if you walk through some of these lovely old neighborhoods of Washington, D C beautiful stately gorgeous. And I look at the, the ornate, uh, you know, details in the corners and the overhangs and the subtle colors and, um, how the bricks are positioned next to each other in surprising ways. And I can feel the excitement of the person designing that say, Oh my God, this is going to look so amazing. Oh, I can't wait. And when I am in a department store, even though I have never been a fashionista, right. I wear simple, basic, comfortable clothes. Okay. That is what I've always worn. Well, there was like a period, but, uh, Speaker 2 00:22:58 I was going to say there were definitely very, very fashion forward, sir. Speaker 1 00:23:03 But, you know, I mean, look at me, look what I'm wearing today. I'm wearing an under armor, you know, Speaker 2 00:23:07 Listen, it's still, we're still in a panel Rama right now. Speaker 1 00:23:13 I mean, you have one Dior's so yeah, so, you know, but I would walk through the store and I would just pick up a beautiful garment that I would never even wear or buy or anything, but I could see the love and the energy poured into, you know, making the hem look this way, putting a pleat right here, picking this shade of fabric to go, uh, to make the form and the flow just feel right. And I was able to like hijack the joy of the designer and step into it myself. It's like almost like, like putting on the experience that this person had and seeing the love energy that was poured into the creative process. And I really, it just, you know, we talked in an earlier podcast that you and I did. Um, but it's, it's in those moments that I fall in and surrender to the moment. There is nothing else that is happening, but myself falling into the details of this facade or this garment or this garden or whatever it is in the moment. And when I am able to step fully and lose myself in the beauty of a moment, there is no room for anything but joy. Speaker 2 00:24:44 You know, I wrote something down earlier that I wanted to read to you is that, you know, when it comes to fashion and mental health, for me, my wardrobe is a coping mechanism and it's one that really helps, you know, and I dress myself in a way that I am extremely joyful and creative and I'm extremely cheerful, but also to really make myself feel the entire joy of like what I put on. And it's because of me, it's not to, you know, show the showy thing. That's not what it's about for me. It's about how do I, my enjoy. Yes. But then also it just helps with getting over and stomaching the world that we're living in. And so for me, that's just a way that you can just say, you know what, I enjoy what I have on today and it's making me happy. So why not? Yeah, absolutely. Speaker 1 00:25:41 What has the ability to block joy for you? Speaker 2 00:25:46 You know, I think about how negative people can be at times the world. Um, when you build relationships with people and you're just not aligned, that's what definitely breaks. Um, my happiness, my joy sometimes because I have, and always will be this very excited, charismatic man, but it's interesting. I have to realize at times that everyone's not going to be that way and that's okay. But that is something that has always been a factor that sometimes determines my mood. You know, I'm like a lot of people you can wake up in the morning and I'm drinking my tea, but you can wake up and have your coffee and your tea and, you know, put on a nice outfit and you know that you got your hair cut and your hair done, and you're looking good. You know, you hop in the car and get comes on and you're just having a good old time. It's a work. And then you see this person with the worst attitude, this client that comes in and they change the entire trajectory of the day. You're like what happened here? And I had to remember and say to myself, no one should be able to alter your entire personality mood, how you feel, how you feel is how you feel because you control that. So yeah. What about you? Speaker 1 00:27:14 Well, I believe that if something doesn't feel good, I should turn away from it. And it doesn't, I don't, I don't mean that, uh, you know, I shouldn't go to the dentist. That's not what I mean. Right. What I mean is, if something lowers my vibration, if something brings me down, I should turn away from it. This is how animals behave. When something makes an animal feel less comfortable than it was a second ago, it backs away, you know? And that's, uh, that's a way of living that I've never applied before now. And I used to believe that it was weak to back away from that didn't feel good because there was opportunity for strength building in moving through it. And, and I'm not saying that that's not true. What I am saying is that there is an equal and equally powerful benefit to bypassing things that my intuition tells me to bypass as there is suffering through it, for the sense of strength. Speaker 2 00:28:35 Yeah, no, absolutely. My mom always said that. Interesting enough. I used to be that guy with a very quick attitude and always having to say something. And you know, if there was something that someone did or said, my reaction is always at a 10 and she said one, you have way too much to lose. So let's start there to use that time to refocus and readjust your attitude. My dad says, you know, movement, silence, you know, don't let everyone tell, know your moves and don't tell everyone what you have going on. But in addition to walk away, yes. And I've realized that's okay. It doesn't make you look weak. It doesn't make you feel any kind of way. If you know that this opportunity, this space, this environment, this energy is not what is aligned in your own visions. I'm gone. My friends in my entire circle knows if this an event that we want to go and I'm not feeling it. I'm not going. Or if it's people around and we're not aligned, I don't want to be around you enjoy, please have fun. Let me remove myself. And I feel that's what people have to do in life. Remove yourself. If you know that that's just not the right opportunity for you. Speaker 1 00:30:00 That's right. Pilots don't fly through a storm. If it makes sense to hop over it. Absolutely. There, there's no pride to making it through a thunderstorm that have just flown over it. Speaker 2 00:30:16 Yeah. As I said, they don't give you an additional star for that. It's okay. Speaker 1 00:30:19 Oh no, no. Do you learn different skills maybe, but is it painful and stressful? Yes. And to weigh the pros and the cons, you know, that's, that's really what I believe there. And, um, you know, I look at people, especially, um, over the past few weeks, we've had a tumultuous election, had, uh, you know, violent protests in the Capitol and that that's our home. Well, you don't live there anymore, but you know, that's where we met. And the thing is that as I look at my Facebook feed, I could feel the, um, calm, pounded anxiety building as everybody watched the news for 24 hours day after day and got whipped into a frenzy, they were not learning new, valuable information from the news. All they were doing is watching anger, absolute and absorbing it little by little. And you could just feel the tension of social media until people started posting nasty things. Speaker 1 00:31:45 Absolutely. And for me, there is no value in watching the news when there's a tragedy happening details. That's what you needed to know. And if something major happens, somebody who's going to tell you, you know, you don't, you don't need to be a Sentinel standing at the gate, watching every single thing that happens because it's not good for you. And it ruins your ability to enjoy the present moment. It ruins serenity. And my first job in this life is to protect my serenity because I can do nothing good for other people and nothing good for myself if I don't have serenity, Speaker 2 00:32:29 No, you're, you're totally honest and true with how you feel. You know, I am, I think I was one of those people cause DC was very heavy. The energy in DC was at an all time highs because when we think of, Oh, I'm sorry, it was an extraordinary extort. And I don't think people really understand that, but in DC throughout, let's just say prior to what happened, what two and a half weeks ago at the Capitol, we have still lived in a space of seclusion because DC had still yet to open up. So today is the first day that DC has now opened its doors with restaurants and a cup of what is it, a capacity of what 250. So I think that adding on to the riot, it was just a bad moment. And I will say this, and I have come to this realization of, we needed Trump's administration in office because it allowed everyone to understand the division in the world. But then also how much racism, not with just black and white, but the racism that is very prominent in the world today. And I think everyone needed to realize that. And it didn't matter how rich you are, how prominent you are. Every single person was then lumped in the same way. And the riot happened. The energy in DC happened for a reason. And I am unfortunate that people lost their lives, but it needed to happen to really put in shine a light on everything that's happening. It was for a reason, Speaker 1 00:34:22 Yes. Nothing in this creation is a mistake. Absolutely. And you know, we look at how can it be the will of God when we suffer? And you know, I can't look, I can't sit there and answer age-old questions for you at a 10 minute, you know, but what I will tell you is that just like you, I'm so happy to hear you say that because you know, having such a polarizing figure, leaving the United States brought about opportunities for people to shine, absolutely shine, right. People who still needed more healing could get into the mud. That's fine. You go ahead and you get into the mud baby, that's your right. That's your right. You want to go fight? You want to go argue, get into the mud it's okay. Right. Because there's opportunity for healing in the mud ready to be a part of the light and the calming and the lack of the attack mentality. There's there's need for that. Yeah. Speaker 2 00:35:38 You know, I think, I think about just really just looking at president Biden and Madam vice president, Kamala Harris and their hands on these Bibles, you know, that have been in their families and the Thurgood Marshall Bible that had been there forever. And just looking at the energy of God and the universe and, you know, not to turn, you know, your, your podcast into a spiritual Christian, whatever podcasts, you know, it's just, I just think about a higher being all the time. And I think about how we have to sometimes really surrender ourselves to a higher power and whoever the higher power is for people and just understanding that Everything that happens, it happens for a reason and making sure that you are ready and prepared for what's next. I thought about something, um, that I wrote down is that, you know, Speaker 2 00:36:45 God is always going to be concerned with our growth, but we just have to do the work. And, you know, he's not concerned really with our happiness. And you know, when I wrote that down, I thought about how God will give you the tools necessary for success, but I don't believe sometimes people really understand what is necessary to do the work. And that part is what I see that it's time for us to now demand. I remember on the show, I had had a guy named Josh Swan and he talked about how Congress is now a democratic Congress. So now that we have a president, uh, Senate and, uh, the entire spectrum is now democratic, how do we now demand what we want? Because that's where we are. We're at a place that every single person should demand what it is they're looking for. And we just now have to be strategic on the growth of America in rebuilding America, because we needed this time during the pandemic to rest the earth needed to rest. And we all needed this time to sit and just be, Speaker 3 00:38:04 So, yeah. Let me ask you Jamir, how does happiness and joy relate to spirituality? Goodness. Speaker 2 00:38:20 You know, I think having joy really includes just feeling good and, Speaker 3 00:38:28 You know, Speaker 2 00:38:30 I, I think about on Sundays when I listened to, um, FCBC in a Harlem New York city, um, and I listened to the pastor and how much, the two sometimes coincide, I love that. It gives me A clear mindset on what life needs to feel like. And for me, you know, having joy, it just includes good cheer and a happiness, but also just a spiritual meaning of, Speaker 2 00:39:05 I don't know, really expressing God's goodness, man. And just for me, it's always been deeply rooted because I think about my family and what my mom, my aunt, my dad has always taught me about understanding and being harmless in what's happening in the world. And so I feel like there's a lot of similarities in the two. Um, but I think sometimes it's just as hard to really feel spiritual in, in just consistent with joy because of, you know, you, you questioned some of the things that happen in your life and you say, why did this happen to me? Well, why did I have to go through that to learn this and blah, blah, blah. You know? So what about yourself? Speaker 1 00:39:53 Well, here's what I'll say. No, if I can say that happiness and joy are required for spiritual growth, but what I can say is that the opposite of happiness and joy are deadly to spiritual growth. Speaker 3 00:40:15 When there Speaker 1 00:40:16 Is bitterness, resentment and discord coming from your essence, Speaker 3 00:40:26 There is Speaker 1 00:40:27 No, there is no room for becoming one with love and oneness with love or God consciousness or whatever. However you want to identify oneness with God is the goal of spiritual growth. Anything that causes the illusion of separation between us and God is, uh, it it's a cage that we're holding shut for ourself. No one else is blocking us. You know, do you think that we have a right to be happy? Oh, absolutely. Tell me why, what do you mean by that? Speaker 2 00:41:20 You know, I, I was reading something the other day and it was on, um, the healing power of joy. And I was thinking about, you know, Speaker 3 00:41:32 I, at a time that Speaker 2 00:41:35 When I remember when my uncle had passed away of cancer and how much of a staple figure he was as far as in my family's life. And I always questioned, like, why did he have to pass away? Then I went back to say, why are you questioning God's decision? Because this is something that is bigger than you. And I just believed at that moment that I had to be free. I had to find out what happened is to look like, and in the moment, you know, even in college, I lost my best friend and I was extremely not depressed, but I still have yet to acknowledge what that feels like. But I knew that I needed to find some type of happiness. And the thing is in life, we all deserve happiness, whether that's in the form of a relationship, if that's in the form of materialism, if that's in the form of a strong family structure, because I feel like there's still so much divide and so much darkness in the world that we're still gonna be able to meet something that will fill us. Now, I don't know if it'll ever fill us our entire cup, but we all need to be fed. And I do believe that. Yeah. Yeah. What about you? Speaker 1 00:42:57 Well, when I think about the question of whether I believe we have a right to happiness, um, I come down on a yes for logical reasons. And what I mean by that is that there is no one who controls your happiness, but you, and if you look around the world at the studies that have gauged the happiness of citizens of various countries, and you look at the, the level of daily joy that is found in some of the most harsh living conditions in the world with countries that have been in poverty for centuries we've countries, where people aren't sure where the next meal comes from. And yet there is joy and lightness of being. Speaker 1 00:43:57 So my position on this is that, of course you have a right to happiness because no one can make you unhappy, but you, nothing can cut a diamond, but a diamond baby are powerful beyond measure. And there's not a single force in the world that could dare oppose you if you stand in your power. And that power includes gratitude, joy, love, serenity. These are all facets of your power. And, uh, only you can give it away. So yes, you have an inalienable right to happiness. It's whether or not you allow yourself to sink into the illusion of separation from God. And if you will allow yourself to be pulled out of the glory of this present moment and live in the fear of the future and the pain of the past, those are enemies of happiness and they only win if you open the door, you know, Speaker 2 00:44:59 And you, you also have to just really pay attention to the small things that you typically take for granted, you know, and I've realized that, you know, I pay attention to what you just underline is really gratitude and being grateful for all of the things that I know that I deserve. But I remember yesterday and I was having a conversation with my team about how do you just jot down 10 things at the end of each day, which you are grateful for. And those are the things that makes me happy. Because again, as you did say, we all deserve happiness. And you know, for me, I just always want to be intentional. And I really just want to make sure that I'm acknowledging all of the beautiful things that I've been able to be around people, energies, but ultimately I'm the only one that's going to make me happy. So you and I, and everyone deserves happiness. So, Speaker 1 00:45:55 Yeah. All right. So the final part of our episode today, I would like to ask you some rapid fire. Speaker 2 00:46:03 Oh my goodness. I don't like these because it's Speaker 1 00:46:05 Now Jamir does not know these questions. So he's not had access to these before. So are you ready to dance in the moment? Speaker 2 00:46:15 I'm going to say no, but sure. Speaker 1 00:46:17 Okay. All right. Jamir, what makes you laugh? Music? What makes you feel strong? Speaker 2 00:46:25 My pockets. Speaker 1 00:46:27 What's the most important characteristic in a friend. Speaker 2 00:46:30 Oh, um, their, um, their love and compassion. Speaker 1 00:46:40 What makes you feel alive? Speaker 2 00:46:44 When I get to dress up into some of my finest and I go to a beautiful event and I hear my gosh for men specifically, yo, you look phenomenal. I'm like, yeah, you did it. Speaker 1 00:46:59 Yeah. What's grace. Speaker 2 00:47:03 God Speaker 1 00:47:05 Who inspires you? Speaker 2 00:47:07 My family always, Speaker 1 00:47:10 What is your purpose? Speaker 2 00:47:13 My purpose is to leave a legacy. And that legacy is for my platform, my voice to last years after I'm gone. I thought about a question that I talked my barber surprisingly about a few hours ago and we were talking about land and my purpose is to acquire my family's life. That they've worked so hard for and to keep their name strong into established mine for generations to come. So, Speaker 1 00:47:50 Um, complete these last few sentences. Okay. This is amazing, Johnny. Wow. I see God. When I wake up every morning, I'm most at peace when I I'm Speaker 2 00:48:06 Reading in the quiet room, Speaker 1 00:48:09 I struggle with Speaker 2 00:48:11 Learning fridge. Speaker 1 00:48:16 Beauty to me is Speaker 2 00:48:22 In each person's specific eye. Speaker 1 00:48:26 And last question, one book everyone should read is, Speaker 2 00:48:31 Oh my goodness. So I'm interviewing him on my show in a few weeks and all boys aren't blue, uh, by George Johnson. And the book is just out of this world, phenomenal about the struggles of a young man who has really gone through a lot, but shout out to George because my God, he just got a huge book due. And, um, that, and then also I am finishing the last, um, bit of a promised land by Barack Obama. So, Speaker 1 00:49:04 All right. All right. Well that brings us to the end Jamir. Thank you so much for being with us today. Speaker 2 00:49:11 I appreciate you for inviting the Jamir Smith Joe podcast on refractive. And I think that continue doing this because people need a platform like yours, like mine that will continue to uplift and bring the light into people's lives. And that's exactly what you're doing. So please continue to do that. And I appreciate you. We love you. And thank you. Speaker 1 00:49:35 How can listeners learn more about you if they're interested? Speaker 2 00:49:39 Thank you. So of course my Instagram platform, right at 50.2 K followers, I'm a, I'm a little modest, don't you think? No, but Jamir underscore Smith, but then also the podcast is on 10 streaming platforms. You can check it out on Spotify, Apple music, um, God SoundCloud. And it is just my name, the Jamir Smith show podcast. Speaker 1 00:50:04 All right. All right. Well, everyone, thank you so much for tuning in today to refractive podcasts. This is Johnny G. I am a personal spiritual and career coach based out of Washington, DC. I'm also a public speaker. So if you'd like to learn more about how to get in touch with me, visit my [email protected]. You can also find more episodes of this podcast on refractive podcast.com or you can search refractive podcasts on YouTube as well. If you've enjoyed us today, please give us a rating. You don't have to type a single word, just click a star rating. And it does help us to rise up in the search results so that more people can access this uplifting content. And remember everyone as you go about your day, and as you see beautiful people who are joyful or suffering, never forget to aim your, Speaker 0 00:51:00 Make it a good.